Multiplayer Essentials: Recursion

Someday, all of your creatures will die.

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Unfinished Business

Yesterday my homie Jaezer came over with Grand Theft Auto V. It came out on Monday, but I really wasn’t planning on getting I any time soon since I usually never play games until several months after they are released. I find that whenever I buy a game on release, I don’t even play it all that much, and would be better suited to wait and get it when it’s cheaper and I have time to play it. However, the game has been stuck in my head all day. We only played for like 4 hours or so, but dayyyum! My favorite part so far is definitely Franklin’s special ability to slow down time while you are driving and do totally unreal turns.

Playing the game for a while made me want to play some GTA San Andreas, and then I remembered that I never actually beat the game. Thinking about that made me realize that there are a lot of games that I have played over the last four years or so where I finish most of the game and then never actually beat the final boss/mission/whatever. I didn’t complete San Andreas, I never finished the final quest on GTA IV, I never beat Sin in Final Fantasy X. I have a horrible record of just not finishing games. I think instead of getting GTA V now, I’m going to try to finish off some of my unfinished games on the PS2, and work my way up. Hopefully I still have all those old save files.

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Magic’s First Gay Couple

Doug Beyer was asked a question on Tumblr yesterday about Guardians of Meletis. In turn, I found out that this card represented Magic’s first reference to a gay couple. In truth, I think this is something I might have just glossed over without realizing since you have to read the flavor text and look at the art to piece it together. I am glad that someone else pointed it out, because it is pretty subtle.


The card is pretty unexciting itself, but I think this is huge for the game itself. Sure, they hid their first reference in the flavor text of an inconsequential card, but it is still a first step. It is kind of sad that it took twenty years for the game to progress this far, but I welcome all improvements. From what I can tell, it seems like the negative reaction to this card has been pretty low so far, and only coming from people who feel that “politics and religion” have no place in a fantasy card game. To which I wonder, what does politics or religion have to do with sexuality? It’s not as though the LGBT community is a construct of twenty-first century politicians. Anyway, I applaud WotC for making this card, even if it is a very minor one, and I think it is a good beginning.

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Maro Trolls Again

At the original Theros panel at SDCC, WotC revealed that there would be a Future Sight preprint appearing in Theros. Speculation abounded that Arcanum Wings or Daybreak Coronet would be perfect choices for the enchantment theme that Theros would be sporting. After all the mechanics were revealed, it became obvious that Arcanum Wings was out since Aura Swap would not be returning. Personally, I was hoping for Daybreak Coronet because I think the card is really cool, and it could use some better art. Maro, being the masterful troll that hew is has thrown us off once again.

Arcanum Wings   Daybreak Coronet

Mark spoiled the card on Tumlr yesterday, and blew everyone away. I don’t know how I missed it when Nessian Asp was already spoiled, but this card was definitely not what I was expecting. I love a good troll, so I applaud Mark on his misleading teases. I’m sure very few people were expecting the Future Sight preprint to be a vanilla centaur when there were other cards that seemed to fit in, but there was a cool column in the original art!!! On a side note, I can’t wait until we get full art vanilla creatures in an expansion again. That was one of my favorite aspects of Future Sight.

Nessian Asp   Nessian Courser

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Oh My…… Gods



When Wizards first showed off the new frame for Gods at SDCC, I was quite curious how they were going to pull these guys off. Being Gods, I assumed they would be inherently powerful, but I wasn’t expecting this. The Planeswalker’s guide to Theros Part 1 made me start thinking that they would actually be enchantment creatures, and then Thassa, God of the Sea got spoiled online. At first I thought, “Holy shit, this is broken!” After calming down for a second, I began to think about how powerful it would actually be in either form. As a 3 mana indestructible enchantment that scrys for one very turn, and can make guys unblockable for a cost, I don’t think it is all that great. Tacking on 5/5 to that makes it stellar, but that will require 2-4 other blue permanents most of the time. Unless you are playing Fish in Modern where many of the creatures cost UU, I don’t see this being too big of a threat. It may be very good in Modern Fish though. So, until I actually get to play with these mofos and figure out how broken they can be, I will believe that they are actually pretty balanced.

Out of the four spoiled so far, I think Purphoros is clearly the strongest. I am expecting people to combine him with Young Pyromancer and Akroan Crusader for some truly nutty plays. They are pre-ordering on SCG for $24.99, and if this becomes a real deck in Standard, that is probably what they will cost. However, I think most of the pre-order prices are too high right now, and a lot of this stuff will drop when the set actually comes out. The addition of Thoughtseize alone means that players will be buying the shit out of this product. Then when you factor in that 50% of Mythics will be either Gods or Planeswalkers, the prices are sure to fall.

Young Pyromancer  

I’m especially excited by the fact that Erebos hasn’t been spoiled yet, he is going to be awesome too, I’m sure! He is the God I have been most looking forward to seeing, and of course he is the last to be spoiled. Then, we also get ten more Gods in the block to represent minor Gods. Assuming that each of these minor Gods represents one of the two-color pairs, I wonder how they are going to work devotion-wise. I guess I will have to wait three months to find that out. I really want to build an EDH deck based around each God in the block.

   Ulasht, the Hate Seed

Xenagos is the villain of the block, and also a Satyr Planeswalker. I think this card looks really cool, and will go perfect in the Ulasht, the Hate Seed EDH deck I’ve been wanting to make. Based on art released on the Hero’s Path portion of the MtG website earlier this week, I think that he will also be a God in one of the other two sets. Check out that picture of Elspeth and Ajani!!!!! fighting him. Story-wise, it would also make sense for someone trying to usurp the realm to be a God. This is just speculation, but I am very interested to see how it plays out. Also Ajani!!!!!!!! I hope they make him Green/White this time, and he is awesome. Theros looks dope as fuck so far, and I really can’t wait for the set to release!

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Don’t Call It A Comeback

Rising up from the ashes like a Skarrgan Firebird, my computer has decided to re-enter the realm of the living. Perhaps it was a Rescue from the Underworld.

I must say that I am really glad the old girl has come back to life, because I would like to put off buying a working computer for as long as possible. I think I am just too attached. Anyway, we had an awesome time in Las Vegas. I wasn’t really ready for the experience, to be honest. It was like a raging house party, that spans an entire block, and never ends. Maybe even bigger than that actually. It was three days of gluttony, debauchery, and trashy television. My girlfriend is already excited to go back. Here are some pictures from my phone.

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The Stratosphere

After we landed at the airport, my girlfriend and I met up with Cavedog Cornwallis and Roach. We hopped in a cab with a Vietnamese guy named Pedro Chao, I think, and he tricked us by asking us if we wanted to take the freeway. Apparently this is illegal since the cab river is supposed to take you the shortest route possible, not the fastest. Anyway, we had no idea, so we said sure. He drove like 95 on the freeway and it was kinda ridiculous. We also ended up paying twice as much as it would have been if he took us the shortest way, but we didn’t know that yet. We stayed at the Stratosphere because it was on the strip, but also pretty cheap. If we go back, I think I’d rather stay somewhere at the heart of the strip like Caesar’s Palace.

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Animal Style

After we put all our stuff in the room we went to In-N-Out Burger. We decided to walk there since it was just a mile or so away, that was a big mistake. The temperature was over 100, and when we walked on the sidewalk next to the road, it felt at least ten or do degrees hotter. Seemed like it took forever for us to get there, but the food was sooo good. It really lived up to my expectations. On the walk back we decided to not walk next to the road. This ended up being a worse idea because we took a much longer way back. The whole trip took like 3 hours maybe. It was pretty miserable. we stopped at a 7-11 next to the hotel and got some supplies.

This thing was awful

This thing was awful

I grabbed some tall boys and a Soda Shaq from the 7-11. The Soda Shaq tasted really watered down which was strange since it wasn’t diet or anything. I was greatly disappointed. We were all pretty worn out from our ordeal, so we laid around drinking and watching Friends and the Steve Wilkos Show until Samyr arrived. We went to a place down the street for dinner called the Red Label, and it was pretty good Asian cuisine.

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Breakfast burtio

Day two started with a three pound breakfast burrito, breakfast of champions. We did some gambling and went out on the town. Being able to walk anywhere on the strip with alcohol was strange, but awesome. There were so many people walking around in the main area of the strip, I couldn’t believe it. We went to the Bacchanal for dinner. It cost like $55 each, but it was the greatest buffet I have ever been to, and it was totally worth it. Delmar was serving up some serous prime rib, and I even ate some chicken feet. After dinner we all felt terrible from eating so much, especially Cavedog.

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I forgot to take pictures of my food, but here’s the aftermath. Those macarons were really good too. We watched the Siren show at Treasure Island and worked our way back down the strip to get home. Roach bought a Steel Reserve and started drinking it, then the bus driver wouldn’t let him on the bus with us. Samyr and Cavedog got off at the next stop so he didn’t have to walk home by himself.

Day three started with a trip to the Aztec and I got a burger that had grilled cheese sandwiches for the buns. We go a free 36-pack of Tecate from a housekeeper the day  before so we worked on finishing all those off on our last day in Vegas. Then we caught the bus back down the strip and went to the Forum Shops at Caesar’s Palace. I read online that the selection of Jordan shoes at the Niketown there would take my breath away. Apparently that review was written by an amateur since there were only like thirty different pairs of Jordans there. They did have a huge selection of shoes, but I was still a little let down. Cavedog and I did get soem new kicks, and Roach almost bought a pair of Air Force Ones.


My new shoes are blue, Cavedog’s are the shitty yellow Melos

We were in Las Vegas to see our friends Brandon and Cristi, and they didn’t arrive til Saturday. Our last adventure before we met up with them was going to Fatburger. I was the only one in the group who had eaten at Fatburger before, so I didn’t spoil the awesomeness for them.

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Welcome to Fatburger, home of the Fatburger

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This photo does not do tit justice

I got an XXL Burger, or maybe it was XXXL. Either way it was fantastic. So glad I got to eat at the two best West-Coast burger joints while we were out there! After eating this my stomach felt awful for about 24 hours, but it was sooo worth it. Then we spent a couple hours with Brandon and Cristi before heading back to the hotel and sleeping for two hours. Great fun was had by all, and I really wish we could have stayed longer.

So, Theros previews have been pretty amazing so far. I think this is the most excited I have ever been for a Magic set. I really can’t wait to get my hands on some of these cards. Assuming that my computer keeps working, I will talk more about that tomorrow.



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One Head is Better Than Eight

Bellowing Tanglewurm

Finish this sentence: Angels, Demons, Dragons, Sphinxes, and _______.

When you think you’ve got it, click past the break.

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